Lunchtime Confessionals
by TivaPaigelyn
Summary: Based on spoilers from Gary Glasberg. Takes place in a January episode. He said that something huge will happen to Ziva that will it affect the whole team. My interpretation of that is that the team finds out how Ari really died. It also mentions when Tony and Ziva talk about his mother and Tali.


**Lunchtime confessionals:**

Tony's eyes followed her as she walked towards the toilets. He knew something was wrong but he didn't want to bring it up in front of McGee. So he followed her. Standing outside the door, he knew instantly that something wasn't right. Ziva was scrunched up in the corner by the sinks with tear tracks down her face.

Being careful not to startle her, Tony shuffled towards her and sat down, taking her hand in his and kissing her knuckles gently. He froze. This was new territory for the both of them. But when Ziva didn't take her hand out of his, he knew he was being at least a little bit comforting to her. "Hey, Zi. You okay?"

Looking up, Ziva offered a sad smile to Tony and squeezed his hand. "I'm fine, Tony." He had believed her for a second but when her eyes drifted downwards again, he knew she wasn't telling him the truth. He raised a hand to her chin and carefully lifted her face so that she was looking at him again.

"You don't look 'fine' to me, Ziva…" _You look heartbroken… You look _sad. He squeezed her hand again for reassurance, showing her that he's here for her and he's listening. If only she had the courage to tell him.

_He told me his story, now I have to tell him mine. _"I was just thinking about Tali…" She squeezed his hands and looked into his eyes. "Since you shared with me about your mother, I thought it was fitting that I spoke to you about her." Looking back down, she sighed. "I didn't realize how hard it would be."

To say he looked shocked was an understatement. "Zi, it's okay! You don't have to… I told you about my mom because I was ready to and I trust you more than anyone." He gave her a rare, genuine smile whilst his eyes shone with love and adoration. "When you're ready, you can tell me, okay?"

He moved to put his arm around her but she shifted out of the way. When she looked up at him, he looked _hurt_. She never meant to cause that and she never wanted to see that look on his face again so as quickly as she could, she tried her best to explain. _I have to tell him the truth. He thinks I'm somebody that I'm not. He thinks I'm trustworthy._

"You shouldn't trust me… I'm not a good person, Tony." He had to laugh at this. How could he not? They'd known each other for almost 9 years and she thinks he can't trust her. They'd had their rough patches but Tony always trusted her. He'd be stupid not to. Seeing the look of confusion on her face, he realized he had been laughing too long and hadn't answered her. Taking a few seconds to gather his thoughts, he turned to look her straight in the eyes.

"Zee-vah! Of course you are…" The look on Ziva's face was so heartbreaking. He just wanted it gone. "Whatever reason makes you think that you aren't is stupid, okay? You're the bravest, kindest, most beautiful person I have ever met…" Tony slowly raised his hand to touch her face. "Hopefully, you'll be sticking around for a while so I won't have to meet anymore Israeli ninjas." He winked at her to lighten the mood but evidently, it didn't work and she seemed more agitated than he did before.

"You shouldn't want me in your life. I killed my brother, Tony. I'm a monster!" she shouted, outraged that he could ever think she was anything other than a cold-blooded killer… Because to her, that's what she was. And she couldn't understand why Tony would think she was kind OR beautiful.

"You didn't kill him, Zi. Gibbs did. Don't blame yourself!" _He doesn't have a clue what went on. He has no idea what kind of person I am. He's always on my side, no matter what. But I need to make him understand._ He looked into her eyes with nothing but compassion and love and all he could notice was that her eyes were filled with only fire and ice. That's when he noticed that there was someone going on here that he didn't know about, that he couldn't understand.

Getting more and more frustrated as the conversation went on, Ziva finally gave up. It was better this way. _Now he knows the truth, he can leave me alone; find a partner who is 100% trustworthy. Someone who has the backs of the people she loved. Because now he knows, she couldn't even do that for her brother, how was she meant to do it for _him? _For _Tony? "No, you don't understand! Gibbs didn't pull the trigger, I did!"

As the one secret she had held for almost a decade came out, so did the avalanche of tears that had been threatening to spill since he walked into the room. Tony could see the despair in her eyes and he knew that what she did wasn't her choice. She didn't _want_ to do it but she had _needed_ to do it. To protect Gibbs. To protect her family. Her American family. The one that cared about her even if she didn't know it at the time.

"Oh, Zi… It's okay… It's going to be fine… c'mere." He pulled her into his loving embrace and held her tight, showing how much he still cared for her even after everything.

So much time passed, with Tony and Ziva cuddled on the floor, him whispering future promises and occasionally pressing a sweet kiss to her hair, and her gripping tighter and tighter onto his now hugely creased shirt. When her sobs turned into quite sniffles she looked up at him with worried eyes as to what he would say to her shocking revelation. To her surprises, he didn't say anything; he just got up and walked towards the door.

But he didn't leave. He just pulled out some tissue from his pocket and wet it under the tap. Seeing Ziva's confused expression, he explained that her face wasn't in the best condition and set about wiping the mascara marks off of her face. When he was done, he pressed a chaste kiss to her cheek and sat back down next to her and put his arm back around her. She snuggled into his side and closed her eyes for a while. When he looked down and saw her so relaxed, he couldn't help that smile that came to his face.

Feeling his gaze upon her, she opened her eyes and looked up to him as he gave her a quick squeeze. _He could get used to this._

"I'm sorry, Tony. I ruined your shirt." The words shocked him as the room was so quiet before that and he was so lost in his thoughts that he forgot she had the ability to talk. He should've laughed at her words. They sounded so sincere and he couldn't understand why she would think his top was more important than her because dammit, nothing was!

When he saw she wasn't joking his face turned from amused to serious. "I don't care about that, Ziva." He started tousling her hair. He knew she liked that and seeing her smile was the best sight in the world.

"It's your favourite shirt, Tony." She sounded confused, he realized. _Am I that shallow that she would really think a shirt is that important?_

"Yeah, and I don't care…" _Why couldn't she see that? _He started standing up, and then offered her his hand in order to make things easier for her. "Are you okay?" He asked, concern lacing his voice.

"I'll be fine in a minute…" She assured him. "Tony?" He hated the voice she was using. Small and scared like she wasn't sure she should be saying anything.

"Yeah, beautiful?" _Beautiful. He said it again. Does he really think that? _Seeing her looking so unsure about herself, he took her hand and they started into each other's eyes.

"Thank you." He smiled and started rubbing circles onto the back of her hand. _I need to tell her. Just… get it out already._

"You know I would do anything for you… you're the most important person in my life right now… in fact, I think you always have been. And I hope you will always be because I… I…" Taking a deep breath, Tony rushed out the words he had being trying to hold on to for the past 7 years. "Ziva, I love you." _Did I make a mistake telling her? Oh, God. She hasn't said anything…_

"I love you too…" She picked up her other hand and cupped his cheek with it. Looking into his eyes, she decided she needed to tell him. "Remember when you asked me if I considered you to be in my life?" At his nod, she continued "…I do"

His smile lit up the restroom like the 4th of July. "Remember when you asked me if I believed in soul mates? I do." Cupping both of her cheeks, he leaned in slowing and planted a slow, passionate kiss on her lips. Her hands began to snake around his neck whilst his hands went to her waist, pulling her tighter into him,

When they broke apart, they held their foreheads together and shared a genuine smile. "Do you really think I'm beautiful?"

"I've never met anyone as beautiful as you… And I don't think I'm going to."

2 hours later, alone in the bullpen after everyone else went home; he looked up and met her eyes. That's when she realized that this was _Tony_ and she can't understand why she believed he'd think she was anything less than perfect.

Packing up his things for the night, he noticed she was doing the same. "You were waiting for me, weren't you?"

She couldn't help the blush that covered her cheeks at this. "Is that not okay? I just assumed…-"

"Ziva." He waited until she looked up at him to continue. "It's okay," he smiled. "I was going to ask you over to mine anyway… Wanna go for a walk first?"

"Okay, Tony." Ziva breathed out and gently lent up to kiss him. Taking her hand, they walked down to their cars and put their bags away then walked off to the park across the road.

**The next day:**

As Tony and Ziva strode into the bullpen holding hands, most of the other agents stared at the two. This was nothing new for them however, but this time things were different. They were together and they were happy.

"Goooood morning, Tim!" Tony chirped before kissing his girlfriend in the middle of the desks.

"Um, good morning Tony… Ziva." Tim stared at them both until they broke apart. He watched on as Tony cupped Ziva's face, pressed his forehead against her's and told her he loved her.

"You love her?" Tim said before Ziva got a chance to reply, not even bothering to hide the shock in his voice.

"Yeah, Tim… That's what I said!" Tony laughed, looking at Ziva with that smile on his face that he saved only for her. "That's what I said yesterday afternoon, yesterday evening, all of last name and several times this morning."

"TONY! I don't want to know about you and Ziva's sex life! Tim whined.

"Probie… Get your mind out of the gutter. We didn't have sex, we-"

"We stayed up watching movies and talking before thumping into bed."

"You mean 'crashing', beautiful" Tony said, whilst getting up and walking over to Ziva. "But it's okay," he said kissing her hair, "because I really love it when you mess your words up… It means you're gonna need me there forever to correct you. And our kids when they decide to take after you with your Ziva-isms" he winked.

**A/N: Thank you if you've read this. Leave a review on the way out? Pretty please?**


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